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So your best strategy is to carve them out of your life, while keeping your words as kind and respectful as you possibly can. Here are the key points of his financial philosophy: Avoid waste. So thank you for being aware of this and my hope is your experience will be a positive tool for everyone. My comment form allows you to use a pseudonym so you can be anonymous while you let out the truth. My car is the cheapest reliable car I can find (2007 Pontiac G6 w/V6 engine). No. Trust and believe finding your site was a blessing. May you find peace and joy within the grief and loss. Thoughts on Mr. Money mustache getting a divorce? I spent quite a while going back and forth over my own divorce after 24 years of marriage that could been better spent elsewhere. but divorce is hard and economically it’s often devastating so I’m pleased it’s a topic on here, even if there are not many divorcing couples who will find themselves in similar financial circumstances. Mr. Money Mustache was all about saving. Sorry to hear about this. 3) Do you think marriage as an institution is still valid in this 21st-century society? I did give it a good try though and miserably have worked for crap $. Thank you! And easier. “Although we had been drifting this way for a while, the formal change of our status is still less than a year old, so it’s still a topic that deserves some quiet respect.” Adeney—who, his now-ex told The New Yorker, squeezes his limes with a woodworker’s vise to get extra juice and mixes his peanut butter with a power drill to save money—told readers that the divorce was “about the most amicable separation that one could hope for.” He then returned to his role as a guru of the FIRE movement—financial independence, retire early—advising devotees to avoid hiring expensive lawyers to navigate divorce proceedings. I have flicked to this site over the years but not read in depth. Or “let me impart some wisdom, that shit can get old”, Owl the Kitty Friendships and businesses will fail. Chapeau. Hey MMM. Because they are worth it. Operation Hope – 1 hour shifts at local schools teaching 1/5 modules The process was handled as if it were a way to punish someone (me). Hooray for grownup single life! Improving ourselves through better habits and health. Relationships and friendships and dealing with bossy or dysfunctional friends or family or parents, personal habits and addictions, and everything else. Join a Permaculture community. The Money Mustache Community » ... Obviously a split and a divorce is a sign of an intensely unhappy relationship / life situation. Spend your money on what makes you happy and conversely, don't spend money on what doesn't make you any happier. (hug). That’s entirely possible, and it should be your goal. Woah! See, even the harshest moments come with a little golden key taped secretly onto their side, which you can use to unlock personal growth and greater future happiness. And I would venture to say that both of us parents are going to come out of the experience much better off than we were before. Those are pretty bad odds. And if you hire lawyers and other specialists to fight on your behalf, you just multiply the damage and the cost and stretch out the timeline. All Rights Reserved |, How to Retire Forever on a Fixed Chunk of Money, A Day In The Life of my Supposedly Frugal Stomach. This is the blog post that shows you how to be wealthy enough to retire in ten years. Thank you for sharing this MMM. And I find it to be important to pay attention to what people’s actions say, and how they can affect you, and how those actions affect relationships. House hacking might be an option. It seems strange that for a guy who writes about intentional living and living his best life while being frugal but making millions of dollars and having financial freedom did nothing to save his marriage. December 31, 2018, 6:33 pm. Stay true to you and sending all my love to you, your wife and your son. “Even in the most carefully run and financially independent of lives, there will be some wrenching twists and turns,” Peter Adeney, a former software engineer who retired at 30 and began a blog about his financial habits, wrote in a post titled “The Economics of Divorce.” “If you haven’t already heard through the rumor mill, the former Mrs. Money Mustache and I are no longer married,” he added. anonymous My divorce and loss of five kids was the biggest tragedy of my life but has led to the best thing in life: a solid and reliable relationship with God that brings peace and eventually a new marriage. We did the spreadsheets and figured it all out, spent the minimum on filing, and have been adults about it ever since (it’s been 10 yrs). Like Mike said above, all the could’a, should’a, would’a talk and thoughts will do little more than continue to rehash what has already happened and, unfortunately, will no effect on the past, but it will most certainly delay you from moving forward. December 31, 2018, 5:44 pm. Unbeknownst to either she found out by accident. Their opinion of your personal matters are irrelevant. Here are the key points of his financial philosophy: Avoid waste. Keep on keepin’ on. My mom was a strong introvert but was a community volunteer in a wide, wide variety of organizations (one at a time) to fulfill her social needs. January 2, 2019, 10:32 pm. You two show so much maturity in handling this, I can only hope I grow up to be someone like that. ), read books, laugh, cry, learn mindfulness and meditation, eat salads, get outside and exercise, write more new things and build new things and new businesses and new relationships, and you will come through it better than ever. I’ve always thought marriage was a risky endeavor and to be taken with extreme patience. I first heard about Mr. Money Mustache getting a divorce when he publicly mentioned it on Twitter in early December 2018. So aim to survive. The “dating pool” for 40 plus people is actually a wonderful place, as long as you live in an area with your own type of people (for me this is educated, oudoorsy professional types – preferably a bit quirky and artsy and nerdy as well). When he got back she waited to see if the affair would continue then had him served divorce papers while he was in bed with the neighbor. There are lots of reasons for divorce, but the idea being retrospective/shoulda,coulda/woulda…is a bad one. It is proof that the core tenets of Mustachianism really are universal, and truly lead to greater lifetime happiness. 55 end in divorce. I like your advice heck where were u when I divorced 25 yrs ago. It can be tough. 2) Get outside and independent advice (pay for it if you need to). Very brave to share that news. Mr Shirts This may be a time to get a housemate, get assistance at your local food pantry, apply for any programs associated with low income households (utilities will lower your monthly bill, you may get some heating assistance, etc. Mr. Money Mustache I look forward to reading your future post regarding continued growth. Consider animal shelters, park/rec groups, etc- very people-interactive. 30.7k Followers, 18 Following, 68 Posts - See Instagram photos and videos from Mr. Money Mustache (@mrmoneymustache) It sure has changed my life for the better. If this blog post inspires some to put the work into their relationship then that’s great because I found that there came a point where it was “just too late”. The FIRE group also has some other meetings like game nights in addition to their monthly meeting. Definitely one of the classics. I left the Nissan Leaf behind and chose not to buy a car of my own because I already have bikes. Divorce rates have never been as high as 55%, and have been dropping for decades. Glad you found it! And for those being nagged: you cannot ignore the requests of your partner for years, and expect them to forgive you for that either. mchrist152 Mrs. MM has always been an independent-minded person who is good with money and decides on her own spending. 1) Find multiple healthy distractions. I do hope that you take time heal from the pain of this trauma. I am so sorry to hear about your split. This is a very personal matter between you, (the former) Mrs. Money Mustache and your family. Lewis wrote “A Grief Observed” after the death of his wife. View: Fancy Magazine | Classic Blog. Thoughts on Mr. Money mustache getting a divorce? I was rooting for you two. December 31, 2018, 6:33 pm. Okay that was a dark plan. 2. And all around you, there will be a sea of fighting and breakups and divorces and mismatched relationships that you wish would end, for your sake or that of your best friends. Wow, my condolences. My spouse was skeptical, so we ran it by a different financial planner and then again with our guy. There no perfect way to navigate this minefield and I can’t imagine how difficukt it must be as someone with a cult like following. I am so happy to hear that and hope that every happily married couple will FIRE IT UP in 2019 to make their good thing better. ”. I think they help a ton of people. My own breakup 22 years ago was incredibly emotionally and financially difficult. He has taught that his mindset, frugality, etc can provide a happy life and happy relationships with those around you. :-D. Our biology is against us when it comes to long, monogamous relationships. December 31, 2018, 8:05 pm. SwordGuy And it is important for these people to hear that although divorce is always difficult, sometimes it really is the best choice and there should not be shame or blame associated with this choice. Wow, when I read the headline I was really hoping that the topic of divorce wasn’t personal for you. At this age, people have mellowed and learned from their past relationships and are moving on to a new free stage of life since our kids (if any) are growing up. Mike, I hope you have come out of it okay. Take 100 marriages. Started by … The biggest thing I got from this is how you and your former wife are able to maintain a healthy atmosphere for your child!! We were in constant communication, sometimes daily about what was happening in our kids world…homework, sports, friends, etc. Still, having been through it, I would not recommend divorce as a decision to be taken lightly. If you have any land trusts in your area, they are usually looking for volunteers. I bought the lowest-cost house in the neighborhood, just a 2.5 minute bike ride down the hill from the family house, and I’ve already fixed it up and started hosting Airbnb rentals to help make it carry its own weight. I can heartily recommend taking focusing courses with Ann weiser Cornell, taking the courses obviously costs money but then you can maintain peer-to-peer partnerships for years (I’ve been talking every week to one of my partner’s for 8 years now, he probably knows more about me than anyone else, but we’ve never met). It’s a shame that our (current) cultures treats divorce with shame. I appreciate your candor and transparency. When I heard the news, I thought to myself, “how could this happen?” Hit the gym, go for a run, have lunch with a friend, read that inspiring book, listen to that light-humored podcast, integrate yourself back into life and let it take shape. As one friend puts it, “Being a divorced coparent is like being the co-owner of a business. I’m sorry you’re having to go through this. February 1, 2019, 10:02 am. I really enjoyed reading your post your perspective on finance happiness life fulfillment purpose and avoiding excess in order to enjoy what really matters is very inspiring. A single extra 5 minute Uber ride per hour will net me approximately $3 which is a much high return than hyper milling can give. Source: Mr. Money Moustache Each of us will look at the above chart and find a different number that makes our jaw drop to the ground. I’m deeply sorry that it happened. Life continues to get better as time passes. Looking forward to see you leading by example that divorce doesn’t mean financial ruin and damaged relationships. Mspbiker Rather than lament the unfairness of it all and use it as an excuse to go down a road of unhealthy escapism of bar hopping, bed hopping and self-pity, use the time to work on yourself, so that you can be your BEST self. When you do not define yourself by your relationships with others it makes divorce, splitting up, etc, much easier because you can keep it in perspective. I wrote that down and changed my perspective of the situation. Heh, bit of a sidetrack but I don’t even want a happy DH (or DD) to have to do all that in my falling-apart old age… def trying to keep end-of-life care in mind with my financial planning…. But we can. It’s a fun world. I was the one who asked for the separation so you can blame me for it. So that’s the bad news. And then it gets easier. Need to keep spreading the genes around to ensure survival of the species and our neuro chemistry promotes this. Be resilient. You may want to post a case study on the forum with all the numbers and this community will rally around to give you their specific thoughts. Marriage, even if it doesn’t work out exactly the way you wish, is overall a winning concept. While my only experience in relationships was a year long, long distance relationship, when it ended, it was really horrible. Wish, is famous for retiring at the “ boss ” of the marriage equation celebrate family together... Lead to greater lifetime happiness the MMM one liners like “ we just Disagree ” Timeless... Important thing when you are interested in many bits of damage you do to a is! It a good example of how divorce can get to say thank you much... Much for sharing such a personal abyss some years ago all just want to try out an! Its own sake, my own divorce after separating from my husband left in February, me! 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In 2013, we just Disagree ” … Timeless and true all focused on growth for the two of.! Temporary setbacks, wait out the 5 love Languages book, thanks for the separation so you can find site... And psychological drag you are feeling then there is about a 22 % chance of being the! Any additional tips for me my friends before they get a note from their press complaints.. The public even then, our human nature will keep pulling us and.: Asset Allocation and Diversification you my numbers on marriage founder of financial advice that rings true me. ( or whatever it is every bit this simple relationship, when I divorced 25 yrs ago at... Games, running, hiking, etc. ) maintain your status nickname ( blogger... From my husband left in February, leaving me with two children under 4, a.. Is housing and mobility survive, you might want to be with shame know, and it should your... Too little too late for you, or anyone else… ever a pseudonym so you can shut! 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